9/22/2009

I was in the middle of a really bad horror movie about a giant alligator.

A really fat woman had been at the beach for 6 years pretending to be dead.

9/21/2009

My dad bought a cliff to build his dream home, then some asshole developers blasted it away and built a giant hotel.

9/20/2009

My mom saw Colleen's birthday on Facebook, so she bought a present for me to give her: 15 pounds of laundry detergent. It was wrapped in yellow legal tablet paper, a bunch of it taped together.

9/19/2009

I was on a really long trip with a lot of random people. At one stop, I had to hit JW on the head with a baseball bat.

9/12/2009

I was watching Die Hard 2, but it was set in space, was mostly about a hot girl, and elevator shafts could not be climbed up.

A spider was above my bed, but I wanted it there, so I just spun around.

9/11/2009

Nick Nolte was talking to me, but I couldn't understand him as he sounded like a dog barking.

9/10/2009

Ran out of money, couldn't pay electric bill. Decided to earn money by helping Reid with his pinewood derby car for Boy Scouts.